I have been met with a man for more than seven years, but I have never really loved him or experienced passion, just at the time of acquaintance he turned out to be the only one who wanted a serious relationship with me. Simply put, I just went for a reliable and responsible man who can be relying on and who really needs. And he is still so. I understand that without him it will be difficult for me and very sad. He has become a family for me. But I understand that I can’t live without love and attraction anymore. At the same time, I do not have such a person whom I would love and want and who would also love me, cared for me. I’m afraid to be left alone.
Svetlana, 28 years old
Svetlana, who is in your understanding “The same”? The man with whom you have been living for these 7 years is more than more than suitable for this flat definition. And the lack of bright emotions to him does not belittle his merits at all. It is so?
Consider another hypothetical option: that if you meet another “same”, only he will not reciprocate. You will seek its location? Will such a person become a stone wall for you? Will it be a strong alliance?
You write that at the time of acquaintance he was the only man who wanted a serious relationship with you. On the other hand, over the years there was no hint of other similar relationships. It’s like that? If so, then why right now you wanted to part? There is a reason. Maybe she is still in another man who has passion, but you do not count on reciprocity?
If the reason is not your current partner, but in your emotions, clearly determine what you want. If you need passion and love, then, apparently, you need freedom to find them. It is unlikely that you will be able to move from the caring hands of the current partner to the custody of a new lover. Rather, you have to look again and choose a suitable man. And if you want this, be patient and act in the chosen direction.
The fear of loneliness is in each of us, it is normal, since it warns against a
hasty break, protecting the psyche from the experience of loss. But this does not mean that this fear should lead your actions. Think about what is more priority for you: fear or your desires and life values?